Not that I'm making excuses. Actually, I have the best excuse: does anyone even read these things (other than Rod and Lovey who occasionally post a comment)? If you're reading this blog, maybe give me a little sign...tug your ear, wink at me, hum a few bars of the opening theme, or (and I realize this is REALLY out there) perhaps acknowledge its existence...
OK, I'm whining.
But, since I'm so late on this post, I've got another update to write nearly 24 hours from now, and nobody is reading this anyway...I'm going to attempt to make short work of last week's episode via a series of bullets:
1. Coach: very interesting how he has become the media "darling", because he's sure not doing much of anything worthwhile on the show these days. He's got a bad Steven Segal/Geddy Lee hairstyle, he's absolutely delusional during his morning meditation routine that ends with his arms raised (a la Lion King) to the heavens with the "sudden" realization that "it's all about me," and perhaps worst of all, his monstrous sense of self importance appears not to be affected by the fact that the only person who grows a worse beard than him is this guy:
2. Other things that start with "F" that Taj gets excited about when she hears them:
3. It's the merge, and the scheming starts instantaneously. Coach is in love with JT, Ty thinks Brendan is a "sneaky bastard," and the alliance flip flops are mind numbingly insane. And here's why they're all idiots: Timbira has a 6-4 advantage, why would Coach try to make a cross-tribal alliance with he, Ty, JT, Steven and Debbie? And why would Ty and Debbie agree to such a dumb idea? Go from a 6-4 advantage to a 5-5 tie? And with a new alliance that has universally stronger individuals at a time when you want to be aligned with the physically weakest? Now don't get me wrong, Steven and JT are straddling the best of both worlds, as the best they could have hoped for before the merge was a 5-5 tie (Taj, Brendan, Steven, Sierra and JT), although I think it's safe to say they could have easily pulled in EriNn for a 6-4 advantage. Let's just whittle all this ridiculousness down to a single pronouncement: Coach is an idiot.
My curse...
4. Ty doesn't know why Sierra is on Survivor...unless it's "to give stupid people hope around the world." (Love them warm Survivor fuzzies!) But Sierra clearly is on Survivor to give people who have to hug poles for long periods of time ideas on what the perfect outfit is to wear: striped koozies!
5. All the relentless scheming is for naught in the end as Joe's elephantitus of the leg forces his automatic removal from the game and Probst calls off tribal council, rendering Ty's immunity necklace worthless and granting me the respite I needed to have 6 days of leeway to write the next update. Perfect timing!
Another example of perfect timing!
Until next week/tomorrow,
PB
Lovely work Griz'd. I thought that the "Other things that start with "F" that Taj gets excited about" was brilliant. Kudos. I personally think Sierra needs to stick around because they have to constantly "fuzz out" her nether regions. There's nothing I like more than a girl who likes to jam out with her clam out. See? I read your posts! Now get back to work.
ReplyDeleteYou bring a tear to my eye...!
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